Ninja Shorts
by Always RuroKen
Summary: A bunch of short Aoshi/Misao one-shots, drabbles and useless headcanons that I wrote fics about. In no particular order. Rating, Genre and other stuff may change. Both canon and non-canon settings.
1. Chapter 1

"It's co-old…!" whined Misao. "Aoshi-sama, remind me why we we're out in this weather, again?"

"It was your idea." Aoshi raised an eyebrow. "You said that it was getting warmer and that we should take this opportunity to get the shopping done."

"Yeah, and I'm surprised that you actually came with me." Muttered Misao.

"Hm?"

"Nothing!" she chirped.

The snow had stopped, but it was still freezing, and all the residents of Kyoto shuddered with cold all together. All except for one. Shinomori Aoshi was not disturbed at all by the cold, for the only effect it produced on him was a slight pink tinge around his cheeks.

Misao was very annoyed at him for not succumbing to the cold like a normal person. But, in his defense, he was dressed more warmly, while Misao had decided that it would be fine for her to simply wear a thick haori over her ninja uniform and a pair of leggings underneath.

As she shivered down the street, she heaved the bag of dried meat higher on her shoulder. _My hands are so damn cold. I bet Aoshi-sama's aren't. He's carrying that bag like it's nothing. He's not even shivering a little. Damn it. Gah! I'm a ninja! I shouldn't be defeated by weather like this! I'm stronger than the cold._ Misao shivered, despite her best efforts.

She shivered again and, as if reading her thoughts, Aoshi silently pulled his scarf off and wrapped it around her. Misao's cheeks heated as she felt the warmth of the article that had been so recently wrapped around the object of her affection. "T-thanks." She stammered.

"You needed it more than I." he said, not meeting her eyes. Was it just the cold, or was he blushing a little?

Misao idly wondered if she acted more and more affected by the cold he would take more and more of his clothes off. Her cheeks reddened even at the idea and she quickly dismissed it with a thought of food. _No thoughts about naked Aoshi-sama. No. Think... Sashimi. Oshiruko. Okon's special miso soup._ Her nose was not going to start bleeding out of nowhere. "There's one more place we have to go." She said aloud. "Thanks for coming Aoshi-sama!"

They exited the last shop, piled with even more groceries. Misao blew on her reddening and stiffening hands. "Uwaah! My hands are so cold." She said. With a shy grin, she reached out for Aoshi's hand. "Freezing, right?" _Oh-my-gods-his-hand-is-so-warm,_ she thought. _And if I die today, I can boast in heaven that I held Aoshi-sama's hand for at least two seconds._

With a slight smile that Misao did not see, Aoshi silently enveloped her hand in his own - and continued walking. Misao's face lit up with a blush brighter than a beet. She bit her lip to keep herself from squealing. Cold was the last thing on her mind at that moment.


	2. Chapter 2

A whisper in the early morning. "Misao?"

A sleepy groan. "Wha…?" she settled back more comfortably against Aoshi's chest.

"Are you awake?"

"Kinda…"

"…Do you like koi fish?"

Misao blinked. "Well _now_ I'm awake, Aoshi-sama. They're cute fish, I guess?"

"I had a dream about them. They were larger than horses… And swimming through air as if through water." Aoshi yawned a little and shifted. "Down the streets of Kyoto, flowing with the usual traffic."

"Huh." Said Misao. She could never get used to the candid, talkative side of Aoshi early in the morning. Once they had an entire conversation about rice and another time, they had spoken about whether horses had feelings. (Misao still couldn't get over that one.) "You can't eat them, right? I don't think you can eat them." She thought out loud. "I'm pretty sure the only use they have is decorative. Like in rich peoples' ponds in their gardens."

Aoshi tightened his hold around her. "I find them rather beautiful, however. Despite their uselessness. It's the color. The orange. I like orange."

"Yeah... That iridescent golden red color." She said. "…Y'know, speaking of dreams – I had a dream about miso soup. I was drinking it. I thought I had finished the bowl, but it was like the soup would never end."

"Now you're making me hungry."

"Oh am I?" Misao smiled. "Maybe that'll be an incentive for us to get up and start making breakfast."

"I am completely asleep." Said Aoshi.

"Lazy Aoshi-sama."

"I don't see you getting up either."


	3. Chapter 3

Aoshi had woken up early, but come down from his room rather late, as he was enjoying its' warmth and reading a rather boring article about sea sponges that somehow was on his 'Reccomended for You' list. As he came down the stairs, he began to smell an unfamiliar scent of pine needles and baked goods. With a bit of a start, he realized it was Christmas Eve Day – and he had completely forgotten. It had also slipped his mind that this year, it was the Aoiya that was hosting the guests from Tokyo – the Himuras, the Rooster-head, Yahiko, and Takani Megumi.

"Oh! Hey Aoshi-sama! Good morning!" Misao sopped at the foot of the stairs with a crate under one arm – and what seemed to be an indistinguishable tangle of plant matter and ribbons in the other hand. She staggered a bit, then handed him the small leafy branches with red ribbons wrapped around them, quickly checking the crate before it toppled from her arms. "Could you please deal with those?" she threw over her shoulder as she continued staggering down the hallway. Aoshi blankly stared at what she had thrust upon him, not understanding its purpose.

He followed her into the main room and waited until she opened the crate and passed it over to Omasu and Okon, who were pruning the Christmas tree. "What is this?" he asked, indicating the branches in his hands.

Misao's eyes widened. "Oh! You don't know? It's mistletoe."

Aoshi still didn't understand. "What is it used for?"

"Well…" Misao looked towards the ceiling for inspiration. "It's a Westerner thing, I think. On Christmas they put up mistletoe to hang from the ceiling, and…" she blushed. "If someone is standing underneath it, there's a tradition that… Someone's gonna kiss them. I-it can be platonic, though! Like on the cheek or something." Misao explained.

"Ah." Aoshi nodded. "…I see." He said. "So it is like a survival game where you have to pay attention to the ceiling where you stand – and the last person who has not yet been 'gotten' wins, and there are no defenders. A free for all?"

A sweatdrop appeared on Misao's face. "Uhh… Not quite…"

Now more-or-less understanding what was required of him, Aoshi tacked mistletoe strategically to the rafters, in the most hidden places, yet where people would naturally stand or sit. Misao watched him, trying not to giggle as she put up the paper garlands.

When the guests arrived from Tokyo, it was late in the evening, around seven or so. Misao welcomed them in. Kenshin and Kaoru came with Kenji who had recently turned four. They had brought one of Kenshin's homemade cakes. Megumi came too, with a fancy-looking assortment of chocolate-marshmallow-creampuff things. "It's French." She explained. Sano brought a very large bottle of sake, with a red ribbon tied around the neck of the bottle. Hiko did not come, as he was in Shanghai for various reasons.

The party was in full swing. Okina, Kuro and Sano were singing, Megumi and Okon were having an animated conversation and Kenji was charming Omasu, Shiro and Misao, as Aoshi, Kenshin and Kaoru looked on. "You're such a big boy now!" cooed Omasu. "Look at you!"

Misao and Kenshin reminisced, while Kaoru and Aoshi tried to string together a conversation that ended up being a long rant on Kaoru's part, and monosyllables and occasional insights on Aoshi's. After a while, the child in Kenshin's arms nodded off to sleep, and Misao offered to carry him to the Himuras' room, which Kenshin gratefully accepted. "This one's arms were just beginning to hurt. Many thanks. Kenji is getting big, indeed he is." He said fondly.

"No problem, no problem! He's not any heavier than the Christmas tree!"

As Kenji snored gently on a futon upstairs – there was no sleep for the attendees of the Christmas party downstairs. Megumi had a stuttering Sanosuke backed up against a wall, her cheeks tinted pink with liquor, completely unaware of the mistletoe above. Okina had chosen to retire for the night. "You young ones can be merry, and drink the night away, but I have to run an inn tomorrow."

Kenshin and Kaoru sat on the tatami, pouring each other drinks and laughing about something. Misao looked up and shook her head. "Aoshi-sama?" she said, turning to face him. "Can you help me with this? It's stuck."

Aoshi looked up, seeing that somehow a twig of mistletoe was stuck in the red, white and green paper garland right above them. "I'll get a chair." He said.

When he brought back the chair, Misao grinned and hopped up onto it, standing on tiptoe. "Ugh, I still can't reach it. I hate being short." She muttered. Looking down at Aoshi, she leaned down, to get off the chair, but in that instant, she saw a slight smirk momentarily appear on his face, so quickly that she thought she imagined it. As she parted her lips to ask him to take her place, as he was taller, he put a hand on the side of her face and kissed her gently on the lips.

As he pulled away, he pointed up towards the mistletoe. "I won." He said quietly.

Somewhere in the background, Sanosuke whooped.


	4. Chapter 4

On a March morning Misao woke up early, before the sun even rose. She opened her window, watching the gray sky, feeling the cool breeze on her face. She yawned. _If I wake up later than this, everyone_ else _will be up too,_ she reminded herself again and again. _This was my plan, and I'm going through with it._

Yawning and stretching, she got her ninja uniform on, braided her hair (now it was long enough to braid) and tiptoed down the hallway, holding her breath (especially near Aoshi's room) making use of her ninja training and walking quieter than a cat across a woolen blanket. Tiptoeing round the engawa, she held her breath, hoping that she wasn't breathing too loud. _After all, in a house full of ninja,_ she thought, _there's no such thing as being_ too _quiet._

After what seemed like an age, she finally came around the back, to the door of the small training hall (which Aoshi used occasionally for meditation in the evenings) and slid open the door with a breath of relief. It was empty, and she did not have to explain why she was sneaking into the training hall at five in the morning.

She had been doing this for over two years now, since she had appointed herself the Okashira of the Oniwaban (and things had settled down a little). _I have to get stronger. To become a real leader. A worthy leader. Like Aoshi-sama was. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not going to be a liability,_ she told herself. ' _I appointed myself as Okashira; now I'm going to earn it,'_ was her mantra _._

As far as she knew, no-one was aware of her early-morning intensive training schedule (or at least, if they _did_ know, they weren't making a big deal out of it). And it was for the best. She did not want to be comforted, nor questioned. Misao knew that it was something that she had to do, something she told herself she'd achieve. _Even in a time of relative peace, I have to be the best possible leader._

An hour passed, and Misao was practicing a series of kicks, when the door to the training hall slid open. Landing in a crouch, she looked up at the person who was leaning against the doorframe. "Aoshi-sama!" she exclaimed.

Aoshi stood with his arms crossed, wearing his shinobi shozoku instead of his usual green yukata. His icy eyes were impassive. "Continue." He said.

"O-okay…" she said. _Now's my time to show off!_ Misao thought. She launched herself into a spinning kick while simultaneously throwing one of her kunai with a little growl of consternation. The kick could have easily broken someone's neck and skull simultaneously. The kunai impaled itself up to the hilt in the 'forehead' of a straw dummy on the other side of the hall.

"You've greatly improved." Aoshi's low voice sounded next to her ear. "Yet you should be aware of your surroundings. On your guard, as it is."

Misao gasped a little, whipping around and coming face-to-face (more like chest to face) with Aoshi, who still had his arms crossed. She blushed. "O-Okay!" _Why didn't I notice him? He's literally_ two _inches away. I need to work on that. And he's two inches away from me. Can we just pause the world at this very moment so I can relive this again and again? Like, I can feel his_ body heat _._

Aoshi took a few steps back until he stood in the middle of the hall. He flicked a beckoning finger. "Come. With all your strength. We will train until you get too tired or can land a hit."

Her eyes widened but she didn't question him. She bounded forward, then leaped into the air, aiming a kick towards his shoulder. Except he wasn't where she thought he was. Misao growled, changing direction in midair, flipping and attempting a hit to his head.

But he wasn't there either.

The next ten minutes, nonstop, Misao spent throwing different hits and kicks at him which he either fluidly dodged or blocked. Breathing hard, her muscles aching, she landed in a crouch, raking her bangs away from her face and rethinking her entire strategy.

"Are you tired?" Aoshi asked evenly. He was breathing evenly, his hair not even ruffled, his face blank.

Misao shook her head stubbornly. " _Hell_ no, Aoshi-sama! There's no way I'm gonna give up just yet!" she grinned brightly. "This is the most fun I've had in a while!"

He nodded, the look in his eyes softening.

This time, when she came at him again, she tried to think ahead, predict Aoshi's moves. _If I look like I'm aiming slightly to the left with this kick, Aoshi-sama'll move to the right, yeah? So I'll try to be fast and kick to the right. At least I_ hope _that's how it'll work_.

She did not succeed, but she came much closer than she ever had, and as Aoshi swept to the side he gave a nod of approval.

Misao grinned, buoyed with new confidence. _What if I try the same thing, except with a punch, and I'll use both fists? I'll jump at him with my left fist, then I'll swing around with my right_ and _left at the same time._

Aoshi had stopped both her fists with one hand, an inch before they made contact with his abdomen, then stepped forward, pinning her against the wall with her arms above her head. "Very close." His voice was a low rumble. "You've improved greatly."

Blushing, Misao looked up into Aoshi's icy eyes, her lips parting and fought to keep her breath even and her heartbeat to maybe beat a bit slower than one hundred and twenty miles per hour. She gasped slightly. His gaze did not lose its intensity, and neither did he let her go. He leaned down, their faces now mere inches apart. "…You're really red. Are you feeling well?"

Misao looked away, biting her lip, her blush deepening. "I…I…" she looked up at Aoshi again, an innocently wide smile spreading across her face, and slowly tapped the side of his shin with her foot. "I landed a hit, yeah?" she winked. She did a peace sign and stuck out her tongue. "I'm feeling good, though."

He stepped back, his expression unreadable. "Indeed."

And in the doorway, someone began to clap. "Bravo, Misao-chan!" exclaimed Okon. "Very well done!" Omasu came up behind her and clapped too.

Aoshi nodded at them, then at Misao. "Tomorrow?" He asked.

"T-tomorrow!"

Then he turned and left.

Walking away from the hall, Aoshi tried to erase the past five minutes from his mind. His impulsiveness and senselessness, Misao's deep sea-green eyes and the light blush coloring her face. That facial expression was not one he was used to, but he could not say he disliked it.

And the triumphant and teasing smile as she winked at him. _Why did I do that? Why did I let myself do that? And Misao… What_ was _that? For a moment it seemed as if- No. She was surprised, and took advantage of the fact that I was off my guard. I shouldn't have dropped my guard. Of all people – she…_ He cut his thoughts off, raking his bangs back with a hand.

He was also annoyed at himself for not noticing Okon and Omasu. _The problem with living in a house full of ninja, is that one can be watched at any time._

 _Like now, for instance._

"Okina." Said Aoshi, not turning around.

"Good morning, good morning." The old man gave a low laugh, sounding (as usual) as if he knew something everyone else didn't (which he probably did).

"Good morning." He replied.

"I see you decided to get some exercise before breakfast." Okina struggled to hold in another laugh.

"Indeed." Said Aoshi stiffly.

"A word of advice; don't let your opponent distract you, Aoshi." He chuckled again, elbowing Aoshi in the side. "Even if that opponent _is_ our cute little Misao-chan." He winked, laughing gleefully (ohoho) and stroking his beard, adjusting the pink bow. "Not so little anymore, though, is she."

"Indeed. I underestimated her." As always, Aoshi's face was impassive, but on the inside, he was exasperated. _Was there_ anyone _in this place who_ didn't _see that?_

Okina slapped him on the back winking broadly. " _Underestimating_ isn't all you did!" He threw back his head and laughed again. "I wish you luck!"

Aoshi struggled for words that did not incriminate him further. "…You misunderstand."

"Oh no." said Okina. "No, I don't think I do." He sighed, folding his arms behind his back. "Ah young love…" he hummed.

Aoshi raised an eyebrow and continued down the engawa to his room. _He's seriously her grandfather?_

But once again, his head was filled with thoughts of Misao.

Misao's been training like this for two years. Every morning I can hear her get up and go down to the hall. Is it a simple matter of strength or is there a different reason? I am worried about her, but I do not want to make her feel as if she is incapable. Or does she already feel inadequate as the Okashira of the Oniwabanshu?

 _She's been extremely busy lately as the Okashira, what with the members of the outposts leaving right and left. Misao doesn't want the Oniwabanshu to disband and I share her feelings on that, even though, personally I would be against her involvement in the group's activities. But now she's the_ head _of the group._

 _The fact that she's hidden her doubts so well worries me. She acts her usual energetic self, but I can see otherwise. How tired is she really? She hides herself behind a happy smile and a cheerful laugh. But I know she does not want my worry, nor my help. Maybe helping with these early morning training sessions is the little that I_ can _do to assist her._

Okon slapped Misao on the back. "That was well played, Misao-chan!" she lowered her voice. "I can't believe he fell for that."

Omasu looked at Okon, and an unspoken conversation passed between them. "Is that what you think too?" she asked finally after Omasu had raised her eyebrows, rolled her eyes and sent a few meaningful glances at her. "Well that's an interesting development, isn't it?"

Misao looked from Okon to Omasu, then back again. "Eh? What's an interesting development? What do you mean well played?"

"Aoshi-sama's newly discovered lo-"

"Shush!"

"Huh?"

"Ahaha! Nothing, Misao-chan!"

Misao shrugged. "Anyway…" she said. "I'm gonna go get changed."

"And don't forget what the plan is for today!" called Omasu at her retreating back.

Misao flinched. "Uh… Yeah! Sure!"

Later that afternoon, Misao, Okon, Omasu, and Aoshi, who was loaded with the yields of a day's shopping, stood outside a clothing store. "Misao, these are kimono. They're not going to bite you."

Misao paced around the shop, eyeing the piles of cloth. She came closer and poked one, satisfied to see it was soft. "And what do I do with these?" asked Misao, only _half_ joking. "Like, what do you _do_ when you wear it? You can't even kick anyone in it without falling over!"

"You're not _supposed_ to kick anyone in it, that's the _point_."

Okon sighed. "Misao. You're this old, and you haven't even worn a kimono yet. It's a disgrace."

"Yeah, I'm an onmitsu! I'm always prepared – dressed for battle! This thing… I'll look like… Like…" she stopped, trying to think of what she would look like. "Look, I wore a kimono type-thing once, can I just-"

Okon laughed. "That wasn't a kimono, Misao-chan. That was hakama with a woman's gi top."

"That was a sleep yukata." Said Omasu at the same time.

Misao waved her arms, shrugging. "Close enough."

Omasu sighed. "Just try it! Think of this as your duty as a kunoichi, Misao. You are wearing a disguise of a young woman."

Aoshi raised an eyebrow, saying the first thing he had said during the entirety of the shopping excursion. "She _is_ a young woman."

Okon and Omasu shrugged. "There you go."

Misao blushed. " _Aoshi_ -sama!"

"You'll look good, Misao-chan, we promise." Okon said. "And _someone_ won't be able to keep their eyes off you!" she winked, elbowing Misao in the side.

Misao blushed and shook her head. "That person… Won't even look at me." She said a little sadly.

Aoshi raised an eyebrow, giving Misao a questioning look. "Who?" he asked. His face held no expression, but Misao could understand the implication behind his words: _Who do I need to beat up? Who's messing with this little Misao?_

Misao went as red as a beet. "No-one… It… It's not like that… Y- He'll not even take one look at me…" she sighed. "It's… Believe me, he wouldn't care…"

Aoshi opened his mouth to say something else, but a call from Omasu and Misao was gone. "Hey Misao-chan!" Omasu took pity on her and waved her over. "Look at this one, do you like it?"

Misao looked at her. "It's _pink_. With _flowers_ and _butterflies_. Made for a woman _twice my size_." Okon rolled her eyes, peering over Misao's shoulder.

Aoshi stood silently in the corner, surveying the store with his eyes half-closed. Suddenly they snapped open and he stepped towards the three women. "I will not pretend to be an expert on women's clothing…" he said. "But what about that one?" he indicated a kimono of rich green, with embroidered pale green flowers artfully scattered over the fabric.

Omasu gave Aoshi a grateful look. "He's right! Misao-chan, this color will bring out your eyes, and, look at this, Misao, it's almost _perfectly_ your size!"

Okon grinned. "I vote yes. And plus, Misao-chan, it's half-price!"

"Why?"

Omasu winced, not wanting to venture into dangerous territory. "You are quite petite, Misao-chan. Most women are a bit… Bigger. Nobody bought this kimono for a long time so the shopkeeper is trying to get rid of it."

Misao groaned. "Why do I have to be so _damn short_?!"

"That's right, dear." The shopkeeper was an old woman who looked perpetually tired, and had tiny spectacles on the end of her nose. "Finally someone buys the thing! It's been over a year."

Okon handed the money to her. The old lady patted Misao's arm. "It's a very pretty one, dear." She turned to Aoshi. "You have a good eye, young man. Your little girlfriend will be looking very pretty in that…" She walked away into the depths of the shop, muttering; "'I will not pretend to be an expert on women's clothes', indeed." Misao blushed.

Omasu turned to Aoshi. "Since when…?"

Aoshi looked away. "I was fifteen. Infiltration mission. They needed a woman, but no woman was available at the time out of the Oniwabanshu. For the sake of my comrades…" he stopped. "You get the idea. I had to do that several times."

Okon put a hand to her mouth as she gasped. "Oh gosh! I remember that! You were really good at acting that part and you actually looked quite goo-"

There was a loud clearing of the throat from Aoshi. "There is no use in dwelling on the past." He said quickly and sped up his step to catch up with Misao.

Omasu snorted behind her sleeve.

When Okon and Omasu were done with Misao, she was almost unrecognizable. They matched the kimono with a pink obi, and combed Misao's long hair out so it streamed down her back in waves from being braided all the time. Okon had fished out a box of makeup and tastefully highlighted Misao's luminous sea-green eyes, deciding that with her ever-rosy cheeks (and the presence of Aoshi) she needed no rogue.

And then, with a tray of tea, as always, she headed up to Aoshi's room and knocked. "Tea time!" she trilled.

"Come in." Aoshi sat at his desk, reading a book that seemed too thick to be a book (Misao later found out it was a weapons manual).

He looked up, mouth opening to tell her to 'just leave it on the table, please' but then he somehow forgot. Mentally, his jaw dropped. Physically, his face remained completely expressionless as usual, his icy eyes, and nothing else, betraying his captivation. Misao set the tray down and twirled around, her long sleeves fanning out. She grinned. "So?" she asked. "How do I look?"

Aoshi blinked. "…Yes." Then he shook his head. "…Wait. …Could you repeat that?"

Misao shook her head. "It doesn't matter." She tried to laugh. "Honestly, Aoshi-sama, do you notice anything different about me?"

He nodded. "…Yes."

"Okay, that's a start…" Misao said. Then she laughed lightly. "Ah, forget it. I'll either be outside or in my room, if anyone needs me!"

"Ah."

Just as she was sliding open the door, Aoshi finally managed to say something besides monosyllables. "You look good. The kimono looks good on you." He cleared his throat. "…Independent of the kimono you look good too." He cleared his throat again. "By good, I mean beautiful, that is."

Misao whipped around but only saw his back to her as he organized (pretended to organize) his bookshelf. She couldn't see the flustered expression – and if she had stayed for a little longer, she would've seen that he had put a book in upside-down.


	5. Chapter 5

Ever since that morning, Misao and Aoshi continued the early morning training. Misao had not been able to land one hit in any of the sparring sessions since that first morning. And several weeks later, Misao woke up a little late, as the previous night she had fallen asleep, doing paperwork. There had been an unusual occurrence in Osaka, a minor drug-related crime syndicate run by a corrupt official had tried to go outside their boundaries and fight the local Yakuza. Another unusual occurrence was the fact that there was a new and promising member in the Yokohama branch. Although several more people had left, a new member filled Misao with some hope for the future of the Oniwabanshu.

She had sent several pigeon messages and compiled a file on the new member. Then she had continued with the rest of the work, until she fell asleep, her face on the papers, and the pen still in her hand. When she woke up, with a start, she realized that someone had draped a blanket over her, moved the inkwell away from the edge of the table and put the candle out, as Misao knew that it had been burning.

Misao swore and ran downstairs to the training hall, not even bothering to get changed into her ninja uniform. It was early, but Misao ran fast, but silently, like a cat. In her tabi, she slid down the engawa and threw open the door, breathing hard. "S-sorry I'm late, Aoshi-sama!"

He was leaning against a wall in his shozoku, his arms crossed and his eyes closed. When she opened the door, they opened and focused on her. "You should have continued sleeping. You really haven't been, recently."

"Eh? What?" Misao laughed. "I'm not even tired!" she swallowed down a yawn that said otherwise. "You know me, Aoshi-sama, I'm the most energetic person ever!" then she smiled, a genuine smile, and shook her head. "Besides, I wouldn't miss these for anything."

"…"

Misao grinned and stretched her arms and legs. "What's on the agenda for today?" she asked. "We trying something new?"

Aoshi nodded. He pulled two shinai from the rack. "This?" he asked.

"Cool!" she caught one and threw it from hand to hand, judging its weight. "Yeah, I've never really trained with these much, mostly back when I was a little kid. I remember sparring with Yahiko last time we visited though." She grinned. "I kicked his ass."

As they sparred, the clacking of the bamboo gave a rhythm. "You are more of a martial artist than a swordswoman." Said Aoshi, as he effortlessly parried a blow. "Try to think of the sword as an extension of your arms."

"Okay!" They clashed several more times and Misao became more accustomed to the sword, drawing on her previous experience and the advice Aoshi gave her, every time he parried a hit. Then suddenly he pressed forward, instead of just parrying.

Misao's limbs wouldn't move as fast as they should have. Her eyes widened as he wove a pattern in the air with his sword that she could barely parry. With a flick of his wrist he disarmed her. Misao lost her balance and fell back onto the cool wooden boards of the dojo floor. In a moment, Aoshi was over top of her, tapping the middle of her chest with the point of his shinai. "Lost your balance. Stay on guard."

Misao was a little annoyed with the ease with which he had disarmed her. _Don't lose your balance, huh?_ "Again, please." She panted, getting up.

Aoshi shook his head. "The reason I overwhelmed you so quickly was because you are tired. Don't try to train when you are not in top form."

 _You're pretty overwhelming even when I'm feeling my best, y'know_. "Oh…" suddenly it seemed as if the world twisted. For a few seconds, or maybe a year, everything went black. But she was enveloped in some warmth. Aoshi had caught her.

"You really _have_ been overworking, Misao." He muttered. "…Okashira…" her eyelashes fluttered. Hearing him call her by her title and the look of pain in his eyes were enough to have Misao try to raise her head.

"It's fine… I'm fine…" she winced. "Don't worry Aoshi-sama…" she tried to smile. "We have a new member in Yokohama… Isn't that…" she trailed off, being pressed to his chest in an embrace.

"You worry me so much, Misao."

After that he had carried her to her room, even though she had insisted she could walk. When he lay her down on her futon she had fallen asleep immediately. She had only woken up halfway through the next day.

Aoshi was frustrated. Misao was working so hard and he was doing nothing. She had tired herself out so much. _Now that it is Meiji_ , he thought, _there's more paperwork and less fighting. She s not in as much danger but there are more things that make her tired. Misao is more used to fighting than this. There are dark circles under her eyes and I cannot do anything about it. I thought I was helping her with the training, but that made her more tired. And to top it all off… Somehow there are these annoying feelings… Thoughts… Am I leading her on? She deserves someone better. Yet I would never be able to accept anyone as worthy for her because I want her all to myself._

 _I should do something useful to distract myself,_ he thought. _Chop some wood. Yes. How about that._ As the hatchet rose and fell he tried to somehow meditate. But everything was distracting, frustrating, confusing. And Misao was always in the front of his mind. _I think I love Misao._ But other thoughts pushed to the front, _I can't think like that_. Then, _I want to help her._ Then, _I should tell her_. Then again, _I cannot._ Like a cycle. With every chop.

"Yo, Aoshi-sama?" a disbelieving voice behind him made him pause.

"Kuro."

"Are…" the man tried to phrase it correctly then gave up. "You feeling okay?"

"Very well." Aoshi answered curtly.

Kuro began to laugh. He looked around at the piles of chopped firewood, at the hatchet in Aoshi's hand and the carefully blank expression on Aoshi's face. "That's enough firewood to last until the winter!"

"Is it really." Aoshi said tonelessly and put the hatchet down, sitting on the engawa. "…May I speak theoretically?" he finally said.

"Yeah, what's happening? Theoretically." Kuro smiled encouragingly.

"If there is a person who one has _feelings_ for but is unsure of how to approach them because of one's past and other circumstances – and believe that the person deserves better than oneself, yet would never accept it if such a person came along, what should one do? If that person is taking on something because they feel responsible and is having a hard time with it – and one has made it worse, what should one do? But if one begins to take on some of the workload for the person, that person – they would feel inadequate – which is why they had been secretly seriously pushing themselves in the first place, what should one do?" Aoshi looked at the sky which was reddening with sunset.

Kuro sat down next to Aoshi and crossed his arms. "You should just tell Misao-cha- I mean, _one_ should tell _that person_ , since it's pretty much just common knowledge anyway. And she's usually pretty chill with the paperwork. She was just super excited, then battled _you_ , of all people with a shinai. Look, Mi- _that person_ is totally in love with you. If 'someone better' came along, she wouldn't even see them. And she's pretty determined to do things herself, so why not let her?"

"This is purely theoretical."

Kuro laughed then stopped at a _look_ from Aoshi. "Don't worry I won't tell her. You can do it yourself. You _should_ do it yourself, Aoshi-sama." Kuro looked up at the sky also. "Whops, it's getting late. Dinner rush hour at the Aoiya!" he got up and grabbed a bit of firewood. "That perso- I mean, _Misao-chan'll_ be in the kitchen!" he yelled over his shoulder. "Just saying!"

After dinner, Misao washed the dishes with Omasu (Okon busy with the Aoiya customers' dinner). Scrubbing at a pot, Misao brushed the hair back from her face with her forearm. "Hey…" she asked. "Omasu-san?"

Omasu wiped down a stack of plates one by one. She looked over at Misao. "Yes?"

"Do you think Aoshi-sama has a… Long-term fever? Or like, maybe all that tea is having strange effects on him?"

Blinking, Omasu smiled in a puzzled way. "Why would you think that, Misao-chan?"

Misao continued cleaning the pot. "I dunno, really. He's just been acting real weird lately, that's all." She stopped scouring the pot and looked up to the ceiling to think. "I honestly have no idea." Starting to scrub at the pot again, Misao shook her head. "He's just being really confusing. Almost like he-" she cut herself off. Blushing furiously, she began scouring it with renewed vigor.

Omasu saw the pain in the young woman's eyes as she realized that she was heading into taboo territory. The older woman remembered something that Misao had once said. _"I can crush on him, like a little kid – nobody minds that. But… I can't actually say outright that I love him. That would cause problems, and Aoshi-sama would get a bit annoyed or something like that. It's not like he ever did or ever will see me as a woman."_ Omasu could still recall Misao's bitter laugh. _"So for now, I can call him 'Aoshi-sama' and chase after him with tea. And I guess I'm fine with that. Because this is the best it's gonna get – and plus – it's not even bad, y'know? As long as I get to stay by Aoshi-sama's side - it's okay, even if he doesn't look at me. Maybe he'll even find a woman that's tall, like him – and then I'll be invited to the wedding! And I'll at least be able to bring him tea still."_ and then she had laughed again, attempting to sound carefree but unable to hide the undercurrent of pain.

 _I don't like it like this. He has to realize what he's doing to her. Even though he thinks what he's doing is best for her. Aoshi-sama might think she deserves someone better but… No. Sorry, but for now, I'm going to tell her._ "Misao-chan…" Omasu began. "Actually-"

The door to the kitchen opened and Kuro walked in with a huge pot and some wood under his arm for the stove. "More stuff for you guys to clean. The customers are really eatin' everything up!" He said cheerfully. Just before leaving, he turned around. "Oh… And, sorry, I overheard what you were talking about before."

Misao looked up sharply.

Kuro shrugged. "I don't know the exact words for this… But… He might be the awesome, all-powerful Aoshi-sama… He might have less expressions than a brick wall and never say what he's thinking… But…" he smiled gently. "You gotta remember he's just a guy, too. He's a pretty normal guy too, under all that…" Kuro waggled his fingers and pulled a solemn face. "He worries, he tries to do the best he can." He snorted, about to laugh. "It's actually pretty funny, just now, he-" then he stopped. "Whoops, forget I said anything." He winked. "That was all 'theoretical'. Well, anyways, I gotta go." He quickly left.

"As I was saying, Misao-chan, actually it's-"

"Misao!" the door flew open, rattling as its frame hit the wooden paneling. Aoshi stood in the doorway.

"A-Aoshi-sama?" Misao looked away from the pot she was scrubbing, her cheeks reddening at the urgent way he had said her name. "W-what is it?"

"I need to talk to you-" he noticed Omasu. "Later. Excuse me." His face carefully blank, he stepped back into the doorway and slid the door shut.

Misao looked at Omasu. "Like _that_. He does such things. Does tea do that?"

" _You_ do that."

"You mean I've been making the tea wrong all this time and poisoning him?!" Misao looked horrified.

Omasu laughed. "No, no! That's not it at all." _I guess he_ can _do it. Tell Misao, that is. I'll let him do it._ "I'm sure he'll explain at the nearest convenience. You can go now. You've been doing enough here. I'll deal with it from here."

Misao looked at her. "Are you sure?"

Omasu smiled. "Just go." She said. She waved her hands at Misao. "Shoo."

Misao threw off her apron and hurried out. "Uh, w-wait a sec, Aoshi-sama!"

He turned. "Misao."

"You uh, wanted to talk to me just now?"

"Ah. Yes. That."

Misao waited.

Aoshi cleared his throat. "Hm. That is. Indeed. I- I mean." He cleared his throat and Misao stood on tiptoe to see more clearly what was going on. He turned his face away from her. "The thing I wanted to say- That is, if you don't have any problems with it is…"

Misao tilted her head to the side, looking concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"Don't overwork like that again because I'm worried about you!" Aoshi blurted.

She waved her hands. "Honestly! I'm fine, I'm fine!" Misao smiled. "If that's it, I'm gonna go back to the kitche-"

He caught her wrist before she could leave. "That wasn't quite what I wanted to say." He said urgently, the words spilling from his mouth quickly and breathlessly. "How about we share the work. Half and half. Not just the affairs of the Oniwabanshu, but everything else as well. If you would allow me to stay by your side and share everything with you… If I could be allowed to always try and make you happy then-"

He was cut off with a squeal and a pair of slender arms around his middle in a vice-like grip. "Aoshi-sama!" Misao squealed into his solar plexus. "Holy shit!"

Aoshi winced. "Here I am, trying to be romantic." He muttered. "…And you go and try to break my ribs." Despite himself, he smiled a little. "I'll take that as a yes."


	6. Chapter 6

It was nighttime in Kyoto. Crickets chirped, somewhere a far away, a dog barked, and everybody at the Aoiya, save for one, snored. Shinomori Aoshi did not snore. Something as undignified as a snore would never even pass his lips. He was a silent sleeper, he did not move, and he woke at the slightest sound; the essence of a sleeping ninja.

Misao, on the other hand, was completely the opposite. She snored, flailed about in her sleep and could sleep through the end of the world. Makimachi Misao was far from quiet. At times, she would speak in her sleep, and Aoshi woke many times to her nonsensical mumblings. "No… Don't want udon… Bastard… Son of a bitch… Kick your ass…" a snort, and she rolled over onto her right side. "Mwah! Mmm… Eheheh… Aoshi-sama…" she kicked the blankets off herself and lay on her stomach.

And among all these things, Misao's greatest problem was sleepwalking. Most of the time she woke before she opened the door to her room, or did something else. But at times, Aoshi would find her curled up on the tatami outside his door, and wonder why in the world she would ever want to sleep there.

But on this particular night, Misao's sleepwalking had progressed. She had slid the door to Aoshi's room open, and stood in the doorway, swaying.

Aoshi woke up with a start, reaching for a weapon, and was relieved to find that it was only Misao. He settled back with a sigh. _Wait. Only_ Misao _? Why is_ she _here?_ Aoshi thought quickly. Then it hit him. _She is sleepwalking again. I should-_

But whatever Aoshi should have done at that moment was interrupted by Misao sliding into bed with him. She gave a small snore, settling with her back against his chest and a small smile appearing on her lips.

Aoshi was slightly shocked, but he relaxed against her warmth and wrapped his arms around her, his chin resting on the top of her head. Misao mumbled something unintelligible, and for the first time in a long while, Shinomori Aoshi smiled and fell into a deep sleep.

Misao was about to wake up; somewhere between vague consciousness and lethargy. She didn't _want_ to wake up or anything, but she knew she had to. _But it's so comfortable and warm in Aoshi-sama's arms… Wait a second… What?! Aoshi-sama-_ Misao's eyes snapped open and she gasped. " _What_ -?!" she started.

But Aoshi's soft voice next to her ear made her lose her train of thought, the blue-eyed man always having that effect on her. "You're awake."

"Yeah!" squeaked Misao. "Really awake! Like awake-er than I'll ever be! That was one hell of an awakening!" she yelped in surprise.

"Hm."

Misao didn't move, trying to formulate her next question. "So…" she said as nonchalantly as she could, willing her heart to beat at least a bit slower than 00mph. "Why I am I here?"

"As in, the entirety of humanity, how you came into the world, or your location as of this moment?" asked Aoshi, teasing her a little, his tone as blank as usual.

She rolled her eyes. " _Aoshi-_ sama. You know what I mean."

"I must confess, I do not." Now, Misao could almost _hear_ the slight smirk in Aoshi's voice.

Then, she could hear something else. A knock at the door next to Aoshi's room. Her room. "Misao-chan! Misao-chan!" Omasu called. "Wake up, already! We need to prepare breakfast." The woman waited, then sighed. "I'll give you two seconds to come out or there's no leftover oshiruko from last night-"

Misao disengaged herself from Aoshi's grip and jumped up, sliding the door open with a crash and leaping across the hallway. "Whaddaya mean, no oshiruko?!" she exclaimed in outrage, putting her hands on her hips.

Omasu raised her eyebrows. She looked at the room out of which Misao had come. Then she examined Misao, in her sleep yukata, her hair ruffled and unbraided. " _Well_!" said Omasu, with false cheerfulness and more than a little awkwardness. "I must have been knocking on the wrong door!" the woman looked up at the ceiling, adjusting her hair, clearing her throat a few times.

Misao realized what it had looked like, her face going red. " _Omasu!_ That's not what-"

Aoshi stepped out of his room, holding a book. "I apologize if I have kept her for too long, but she had left this book in my room the other day, and I was curious to know her opinion of it." He handed the book to Misao and went back into his room, shutting the door.

Omasu let out a breath. "Oh. Is _that_ what it was? I had thought… Never mind." She smiled at Misao. "Nevertheless, Misao-chan, you really should wear something other than your _sleep yukata_ when you-" Then Omasu noticed the title of the book. "Haiiro no Gojuu Yashoku…" She shrugged. "Never heard of it. Can I borrow it, Misao-chan?"

Misao shrugged. "Ask Aoshi-sama." she set the book down on an empty shelf in her room, and called to Omasu. "I'll dress, and _then_ oshiruko!"

Omasu was puzzled. "I thought it was _her_ book…"


	7. Chapter 7

Laying on a warm futon. A woman's back pressed against my chest. I am holding her hands, and they feel strangely small in mine. She turns over front-to-front with me, but I cannot see her face because of her bangs. The rest of her shining black hair spreads like a fan behind her.

 _She runs a cool hand up my chest, landing butterfly kisses along their trajectory. As she does so, I can feel my scars disappear. She pulls away for a moment, and I can see her mouth, smiling, but it somehow seems sad to me._

 _"Do you love me?" I can barely hear what she whispers. And when the woman looks up at me with luminous sea-green eyes, and I gasp, my eyes widening._

 _"_ Misao _?!" And it seems my surprise is enough because tears come to her eyes and she stands up and leaves, and I know that I will never see her again and I call out for her, tell her I love her, and then…_ I wake up.

I sat up, my heart hammering, putting a hand over my face. What kind of a dream was _that_?

There was a timid knock at my door. "Aoshi-sama?"

I try to get my breath back. "Yes?"

Misao slid the door open just enough for her to slip through. She was still in her sleep yukata. "Um…" she said, avoiding my eyes. "You called?"

"What?"

She looked at me, then quickly away again, her cheeks bright red. "You called out for me and-" she cut herself off. "Yeah." She looked away.

I also looked away. "I… That is… I was having a dream." I quickly changed the subject. "What time is it?"

"One o'clock in the morning." Misao answered promptly.

"I apologize for waking you up."

She laughed, waving her hand. "No, no! I was already awake." Then she shivered. "Haha. It's kinda cold. Your room is pretty warm though."

"Do you want to stay here for the rest of the night?" I blurted out before I could stop myself and assess how it sounded. "That is… I mean… Not like-" I stopped myself from talking.

Misao looked at me, her cheeks red. "U-um… I-if it's okay… I mean…" She stared at me for another few seconds, then she began laughing. "Haha… I'm sorry…"

"What is so amusing?"

She covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head at me. "No… It's… It's just… Aoshi-sama…" she stopped laughing, and looked at me. She smiled, and slipped into bed next to me. "It's warm…" she said drowsily.

I tried to keep all signs of anything but the utmost calm from my face. When I had said 'stay here for the rest of the night', I had meant her get on the futon, and I would stay up, reading. But… This situation is not entirely unpleasant. In fact… I would call it a… favorable turn of fate?

"Whenever I had a nightmare as a little kid, I used to do this. Climb into Aoshi-sama's bed." She said, stifling a yawn.

I raised my eyebrows. "Except you haven't been a child for quite a while now, and I was the one having a nightmare."

She laughed, but it was more like a smile with a breath. "Yeah, but it's _kinda_ the same." She propped herself up on her elbows. "You gave me quite a shock, Aoshi-sama… I was just reading a little, and I could hear you in your room, call out for me and you said… you loved me… really desperately. Must've been a hell of a nightmare…"

What could I say to that? "…Indeed." She was so warm. And I didn't know how to answer. I simply turned onto my side and wrapped my arms around her, taking her small hands in mine. She relaxed against my chest, her breath evening out, but her heart hammering. As was mine.

"Hey, Aoshi-sama?" she asked, a while later.

"Hm?"

She turned around to face me. "Do you actually… love me?"

"More than anything." I suppressed the urge to yawn. "Go to sleep."

"So matter-of-fact as always, Aoshi-sama." She muttered sounding a little annoyed but very amused.

"Just tired." I said. I did yawn this time. "Conversations in the morning."

She snorted.

I yawn again and close my eyes. "I love you."

I could almost feel her eyes widening, her cheeks flushing and her lips pressing together to suppress a happy sound. "Aoshi-sama!"

"Now please sleep."


	8. Chapter 8

Misao has never seen an iceberg.

She has only read about them in books that she finds in the Aoiya's library.

However, she is sure that _in the depths of an iceberg there is the color of Aoshi-sama's eyes._

She thinks, _I will never be able to see an iceberg because I am in the south of Japan and I don't know if they have icebergs in Hokkaido – and I will never see one because of all that_.

 _But I want to._

She wants to.

 _Aoshi-sama himself is kind of like an iceberg, isn't he?_

 _So large, so cold,_ moving slowly through a cold ocean with so much more beneath the surface than is visible from above.

So much more – and she will never be able to see it all.

She knows that he wants her to stay away, to chase after someone else, building his icy walls constantly.

But she can see the aching gentleness and a hint of _something else_ in his eyes when he looks at her and thinks she cannot see.

She can see how his face goes carefully blank, his jaw just _slightly_ too tight as boys from the town flirt with her.

After all, tossed about on cruel ocean waves, the iceberg will be your doom.

 _The iceberg that is the color of Aoshi-sama's eyes._

But Misao is young, she is brave, she is so, so determined.

And she is so, so in love _._

 _So even if I am tossed about on the seafoam with no light to guide my way_ , she thinks, _it doesn't matter if I crash and break._

 _It doesn't matter because it's you Aoshi-sama._

 ****00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00**00****

Aoshi has seen the ocean more times than he could count.

He sees it even when he is nowhere near the port or the beach – when he is up in his room in the Aoiya and there is a gentle knock at the door.

He loves that color.

He sees it when he looks _into Misao's eyes_.

The ocean is so erratic, yet with a pattern to its madness and Aoshi thinks, _I will never be able to understand the ocean because it is not like anything I have ever encountered_.

 _But I want to_.

He wants to.

 _Misao is much like the ocean._

 _Constantly in motion,_ he knows that she is ever-changing and he will never understand her wholly.

But, oh, he _wants to_.

He knows that she loves him, she doesn't try to hide it, or if she does, she's pretty lousy at it.

But he knows that it is more than a childish crush and he's terrified – _what if she never gets over it_?

 _You cannot keep chasing me forever, Misao – I have strayed too far into the darkness too many times, and my hands that are stained with blood are not the gentle hands you need in this era._

And yet, she still brings him tea in the afternoon – every day – just like clockwork.

And she still has the same carefree smile – but there's a hint of _something else_ in her beautiful eyes that are like the ocean.

He is adrift in the vast ocean of her eyes and he is so, so lost.

 _I would rather be lost in the ocean of your eyes than anywhere else_ , he thinks, _it matters not whether I sink and never come up._

 _It matters not because it is you, Misao._


	9. Chapter 9

There are things that I know are impossible.

Flying to the moon, suddenly growing ten feet tall and being able to shoot flames from your nostrils…

…And things like that.

But making you smile (I think…) isn't one of those things.

Somehow, whenever I make the best jokes that even I'm surprised at, (Hey, I'm that funny? Wow!) when I repeat the most hilarious stories, or even when I try to amaze you with my powers of imitation – you usually don't even twitch.

…I'm lucky though!

Last time at dinner when I was telling the story about Kuwabara-san and the chicken I could've _sworn_ that you raised your eyebrow!

So… I'm making progress!

…Right?

You know…

…I promised Himura that I'd make you smile.

But really, it was more like a promise to myself – now that I've said it out loud, I can't back down – that kind of a thing.

And you know me.

I'm su-uper stubborn and I never give up! (Jiya says I get it from him.)

So, I'll keep trying, okay?

And who knows?

Maybe one day, you'll let me melt your ice.

But for the time being, it's fine just like this, isn't it?

So, for now, I'll bring you your favorite green tea every afternoon and tell the funniest jokes I know – stuff like that.

Don't worry, okay?

It doesn't hurt that much…

H-huh?

This- T-these aren't tears! I'm… I-I'm not crying!

Just…

…Maybe I'm not enough to make you happy.

…

Hey…?

You know I… Love you, right?

I bet you do.

Oh well… (How embarrassing, I'm blushing!) That's to be expected – you know like, _everything_.

But…

Thanks for letting me stay by your side even if it's just like this.

Lemme just say it one last time, okay?

I love you, Aoshi-sama…


	10. Chapter 10

There are things I cannot allow myself.

I cannot allow myself to be weak, I cannot allow myself to slip up – I cannot allow myself to show what I am feeling.

Things like that.

And the feelings I have for you I cannot allow myself to have.

Somehow, when I lose track of myself, when I relax, when I feel at ease, I slip and you see what I do not want you to see – the look in my eyes that I cannot get rid of – the look in my eyes when I look at you.

…However, I am making progress.

When you came in dripping wet from the rainstorm outside and came into the kitchen to warm up, there was a specific water droplet that was making its' way between your breasts that I did not catch on my finger. (I admit, I may have stared at how your onmitsu uniform clung to you when wet… Anyway….)

You must see I am making progress.

If you knew how much I wanted to just plunge into wild abandon and reach out for you…

You would be so happy.

But I am not one to make you happy – something you cannot see.

This man I am cannot provide you with everything you need – I have hurt you far too many times to make amends.

But god knows, it's so hard.

If I had not left, if I had not duelled with Okina, if I had not said the things I said, done the things I've done…

Then there could have been a time and a place where we could've reached out for each other with no problems.

Even so.

What kind of a man am I who leaves, is dragged back after causing irreparable damage, stays in silence – then falls in love with the girl who is my ward?

…You are no girl now – a strange woman with the same features stands before me.

So familiar yet so alien – I know you best, yet not at all.

All I can do is hope.

If you find someone else…

If my forced indifference to your feelings has the effect it should, maybe then I can see you truly happy.

And I would be happy too – if only because you were.

From the shadows in which I am rooted, I can watch your light spread.

Truly, I would be happy.

The brightness in your eyes would be enough to warm me.

It wouldn't be so hard if you didn't just look at me like that.

Like I am your everything.

If I tell myself that it does not hurt…

Then maybe it will not.

...But am I hurting you?

I… Am not enough for you.

…

You know…

I think you do know to some extent what I'm thinking.

However, if either of us says it out loud…

What are we to do then?

Are we to simply nod and part ways with that understanding between us?

…Sometimes I just want to say it and see what happens.

To tell you and be done with it, damned be the consequences.

Misao… I… Love you.


	11. Chapter 11

Words: 200

"Aoshi-sama… I love you."

It had taken so much courage, so much strength to say it. She was putting all her cards on the table, betting her heart, hoping it would not be broken – dreading the answer but so desperately needing it. Once and for all, she needed to know. It would give her a sense of purpose, wouldn't it? To finally be free of any clinging hopes.

"…I am sorry."

It had taken just those two words, a sympathetic glance from two icy blue eyes to break it. She had bet too much too soon and lost it all – an unexperienced gambler paying the price. If she had said nothing, he wouldn't have to do this to her. He didn't _want_ to do it. But he had to, didn't he? He was not right for her, he knew.

"I see…"

It was a broken sigh of defeat.

"…"

He said nothing.

 _Clink._

That was the sound of the teacup and teapot made as she set them down onto the tray with trembling hands – exiting the room.

 _Crack_.

That was the sound the brush between Aoshi's tightening fingers made as it broke, splattering the white page with merciless black ink.


	12. Chapter 12

Words: 200

It had been her fault, she realized. That bottle of sake looked just too inviting.

"Aoshi-sama, you realize I'm still in love with you, right?"

"…I realize."

"Then why?! Why do you still let me in? Why do you only like the tea that I make? Why…?"

"…It's late. Okina will be calling us down to dinner shortly."

"Stop running away from this, Aoshi-sama! You… You only look at me. I see it!"

"…Misao-"

It had been his fault, he realized. But Misao… Misao and his self-control did not mix well.

"W-why, Aoshi-sama? Why won't you- Oh!"

"…You've drank too much, Misao. Go lay down. Rest."

"B-but… You didn't have to do that to figure out I'm drunk off my ass! Hell, maybe it's 'cause I'm dumb – but I thought you were gonna kiss me for a second! Hah. I'm a real dumbass. As if you'd ever do that. Ha- Mmf!"

She had pressed her trembling fingertips to her mouth after he pulled away, looking at him with those wide sea-green eyes.

"…Are you done now, Misao?"

Oh yes, it had been cruel of him.

Now he sat motionlessly in his evening-lit room, still tasting the sake from her lips.


	13. Chapter 13

Words: 200

Misao did not expect to encounter him at the Aoiya's library, as she had planned on avoiding him – and had succeeded all day. She had been looking for a book, hopefully a book that helped people out of their situations no matter what they be (wishful thinking, she knew). As she rounded the corner – from one bookshelf to the next, he was standing right there.

She gasped and stepped backwards, avoiding his eyes. "Eheheh! Aoshi-sama! Library's a nice place, huh?" her grin was less than convincing. "…Yeah, so I'm gonna just-" she tried to leave, yet at one word from him she stayed. _Hm, well that just_ proves _I'm pathetically in love with him,_ she thought dryly.

"Misao."

She turned around and tried to smile, still refusing to look at him. "Hm? What is it, Aoshi-sama?"

"…I apologize."

The corner of Misao's smiling mouth twitched, as did a vein in the side of her head. Her laugh was definitely fake now. "Ahahaha! Don't mention it…!" With that, she turned, walking out of the library at a dignified (but fast) pace.

Left in the library, Aoshi thought about how that was probably the wrong thing to say, judging by her reaction.


	14. Chapter 14

Words: 200

At dinner, there was an awkward silence, occasionally broken by the efforts of Okon and Omasu. Aoshi tried not to let his gaze wander over to Misao, who stubbornly looked only at her rice and meat. "It was nice weather today?" asked Okon loudly.

"Very nice!" Omasu agreed enthusiastically, glancing around the table at an awkwardly trying to leave Shiro and Kuro, an oblivious Okina, Aoshi and Misao. "Don't you agree?" she asked, rather desperately.

No-one spoke.

Standing up, Aoshi inclined his head. "…If you will excuse me."

The mood immediately lightened. Misao raised her head beginning to talk to Omasu. Outside, Aoshi leaned against the doorframe, listening in, his eyes half-closed. She had avoided him all day again, not even visiting the library, eating before or after mealtimes. But he had finally seen her in the garden.

"How long will you keep avoiding me, Misao?" he had asked.

Misao had looked up with wide sea-green eyes, stumbling back. "A-Aoshi-sama!" she had stuttered. "So uh… What brings you here?" she avoided his question just as she had avoided him.

"I wanted to see you."

"Don't toy with me." She had growled, then walked away, leaving him in the evening-lit garden.


	15. Chapter 15

Words: 200

Misao kept avoiding him, going out oftener, doing many more chores. Omasu and Okon noticed that something was wrong between her and Aoshi – and had attempted to speak to her. But she would only dismiss it. "It's fine. Honestly."

Aoshi tried to meet her, for it to seem as if it was accidental – and they would somehow… Somehow _what_? This was what it was like for her, wasn't it. He would constantly distance himself from her, icy-façaded. Nothing went the way he planned.

Worried, Okon and Omasu decided to act, by locking Aoshi and Misao in the kitchen, a note under the door. " _We apologize for doing things so crudely…_ " read out Aoshi. " _It was the only thing we could think of. Sort things out please._ "

Whipping around with a growl, Misao flew at the door with a kick. It did not budge. "Oh, so you've propped it up?" she snarled. She kicked until she collapsed with exhaustion on the floor. Aoshi watched her with an enigmatic facial expression from the corner of the kitchen. She looked up at him. "What?" then immediately looked away and groaned. "Ugh! This is so _stupid!_ Let me out, dammit!"

There was no answer.


	16. Chapter 16

Words: 200

She had given up and now spoke to him, her back turned. "So now what?"

"…We talk."

"Huh." She sounded sarcastic.

There was a silence.

"Why do you not look at me?"

"Because if I do, I'm gonna start acting like an idiot. I won't be able to think straight."

Another silence.

"…You know, Aoshi-sama…"

"Hm?"

"When you… Kissed me… I…" she cut herself off, then got the courage to speak again. "For those two seconds I _was_ done. I wanted you never to stop… But when you… When you looked at me like that…" she shook her head. "Why'd you do that, if you really didn't want to do it that bad?"

He did not speak for a while. "…I-" he stopped. "…I thought that if I showed you that I was nothing but a man… Not any grandiose figure that you fell in love with… You would cease to feel for me in such a way. But instead…" he did not finish.

There was another silence.

"Instead what?" she asked. "'Cause I didn't fall in love with any weird-ass grandiose figure. I fell in love with Aoshi-sama."

"Instead, I finally, truly realized that I was an absolute idiot."


	17. Chapter 17

Words: 200

"Nothing happened." She said firmly, interrupting him. "You never kissed me – I never said anything." She opened the kitchen window and lithely climbed out into the garden, leaving Aoshi locked in the kitchen.

Yet something _did_ happen.

He began to cook and when Okon and Omasu came to check – they found him alone, preparing lunch.

"Dinner's ready, Aoshi-sama!" she called cheerfully, knocking. "Do you want me to bring it up for you or will you come?" As soon as he said he would come down, she was gone, leaving him in the hallway.

She chattered away just like before.

He excused himself early from dinner and spent the rest of the night in his room – trying to read, his eyes not focusing on the page.

"I brought you tea!" she said, knocking on the door to his room in the afternoon. "Some rice and veggies too – you haven't come down to eat all day." She slid the door open after a while and set the tray down on his desk, strewn with papers.

He had stayed blankly staring out the window all day, thinking.

Thanking her quietly, he looked up and she grinned – yet something about that grin wasn't real.


	18. Chapter 18

Words: 200

Misao set down the tray and smiled. _He looks so tired…_

"Thank you." He spoke quietly, yet his eyes bored into her with an intensity not befitting his mild tone.

She nodded. "I'd sit with you and stuff, but I got laundry to do!" she laughed, fooling neither herself nor him. "Busy day today!"

"Is it." He said, his tone flat. _Yep. I'm not fooling him._ "Do not let me keep you." He turned back to the window.

"Uh, yeah! Make sure you at something, okay, Aoshi-sama?" she jumped up. "I… Uh, gotta go!"

"You are not deceiving me, Misao." He said as she was about to open the door.

"…Enjoy your meal, Aoshi-sama." She was glad her back was to Aoshi, as hot tears began to stream down her cheeks. She slid the door quickly open and almost ran out, stifling a sob with her sleeve.

Misao ran straight into him. He must've matched her pace, moving alongside her through the rooms and following her down the hallway. She looked up at him through her tears and before she could apologize and run, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. _Why're you tormenting me again, Aoshi-sama?_


	19. Chapter 19

Song: 'Meaning of You'

Artist: IU

 _Each word you say, each laugh_

 _They have such big meanings to me_

Aoshi's eyes find her again as she almost dances beside him, so light, despite the large bag of rice on her shoulder. Light - not weight, but a beautiful glow - somehow both words describe her. She turns to look at him and grins. "What's next on the list, Aoshi-sama?"

He blinks, trying to ground himself in reality and find himself again. "Vegetables." he says quickly.

She laughs, seemingly for no reason. "Great! Let's get a lot of cucumbers, okay?"

 _Even your smallest glances_

 _Even your lonely back is a difficult promise to me_

Misao surreptitiously looks over the top of her book at him, not hiding her involuntary smile that always seemed to appear when she looked at him. His back is perfectly straight as he writes, his brush gliding so smoothly over the paper. "Are you bored?" he asks, turning slightly.

She blinks and quickly looks down, the blush on her cheeks betraying her. "O-oh - no!" she stammers.

He nods, looking back at her for a few moments. "Do you want to come and look?"

 _All of you comes to me_

The tea she brings him is somehow different, better than anyone else's. Every afternoon, she is at his door, once more, balancing a tray, smiling happily. Today, he reaches out and ruffles her hair, going beyond fleeting glances at her over the rim of his teacup. Her flushed cheeks and stuttering words almost make him smile.

 _An unsolvable riddle_

His strange attitude towards the delivery boy who she had chatted with this morning puzzles her. Sure, the boy was flirting with her - as he always did. But did that warrant such a frigid glare? Later, she rests her flushed cheek on her hand as she watches him train, across the yard. Maybe he is jealous? Or is that just fancy - wishful thinking on her part?

 _Sadness blooms like cosmos flowers by the train station_

 _You're the aromatic wind that blows by_

Misao stands on the platform with her suitcase, the slight breeze blowing her hakama. It is the few early weeks of spring when the cherry blossoms bloom. Amid the hustle and bustle of the train station, he only sees her and he looks at her, unsure what to say, everyone else having said their tearful goodbyes already. He looks at her, not wanting her to leave. As if knowing his thoughts, she smiles at him. "It's only for a year. It'll be gone before anyone knows it, and I'll be back with loads of stories to tell." she says.

Stiffly, he nods. "Of course." Suddenly, he steps forward. He feels as if he should do something, but he is at a loss, and instead says something stiff again. How can he just say, 'stay' like that? So he says something else. "Take care of yourself, Misao."

A mischievous smile appears on her face. "Will you miss me?"

He lets his face relax into a small smile. "I will." He will.

Suddenly, with another breath of wind and the smell of cherry blossoms, she moves quickly forward and just as quickly back, blushing slightly. "Bye-bye, Aoshi-sama!"

The feeling of her soft lips brushing against his cheek does not leave him even as the train departs.

 _I will build a castle on top of the fluffy clouds_

 _I'll open my windows to you, the windy windows_

Aoshi sits on the engawa, a motionless fan in his hand and his usually clear, sharp icy eyes seem misty and far away. He has that kind of look more often now, she thinks that it may have something to do with the fact that he's been writing more and more. When she comes to him, he smiles very slightly, the kind of smile only she can see, and she grins back and she, resting her weight against him, lets his arm encircle her shoulders. "When you look up at the towering clouds..." he says. "What do you think?"

She frowns slightly, looking up at the sunset sky and the clouds Aoshi spoke of. "They're like faraway lands, huge castles made of wind up in the sky." she says. He nods. They stay like that, in silence until Misao speaks again. "The kids'll be coming home from Tokyo tomorrow." she says quietly.

"They'll be wanting to leave as soon as they come back." Aoshi says, shaking his head. "They like Himura more than us." he quietly jokes.

"He spoils them and they're kids. Staying home is boring to them." she shrugs. "Who do they get that wanderlust from, I wonder?"

"I wonder too." he looks down at her.


End file.
